Sweet Kate

Joel and I went to a wedding last weekend that was everything the WIC* tells you an elegant wedding should be. The Save the Dates were on multiple layers of elegant pearl finished cardstock, with a cute little story and hand drawn artistic pictures (I thought they were the invitations when the envelope came in the mail). The invitation itself was multiple layers of the same pearl finished cardstock in pastel colors, with what appeared to be hand painted flowers around the edges. It had a pocket, and was wrapped in lace and ribbon with a square seal featuring the Bride and Groom's initials.

The wedding itself featured four violinists, bridesmaids in matching dresses, and programs** that matched the invitations. The reception was at a fancy restaurant on top of a hill, overlooking the city, and began with cocktails and signature drinks. It moved inside and there were several courses, champagne for the toasts and wine with the meal, cake and a candy bar. The tables had pearlized tablecloths with gorgeous floral centerpieces*** in the center, a mass of pink and peach roses and flowers atop a crystal type candelabra with votive candles. There was a three tier cake, beautifully decorated with fresh flowers, a candy bar, and chocolates on the table****. The dance floor had all kinds of fancy lighting, and the couples names were displayed in lights over the fireplace. It was lovely and elegant.

I feel like this is what the WIC tells women they should want. A lovely, elegant, expensive wedding. It was a lovely, elegant (and expensive) wedding. And yet I am so glad it was not our wedding. I would not trade any detail of our wedding for theirs. Actually, I felt a little sorry for them, because their minister preached a kind of crazy sermon, the wedding was so small and there were so few people there, the DJ was kind of horrible at times, and the dancing was lackluster.

At some point during all the wedding planning, I ran across a website that suggested one consider one's dream wedding, and from there see what elements to keep or abandon. I considered this for a few minutes, and realized that I was already planning one wedding, and didn't have the space in my head to plan a "dream wedding." If we'd had a bigger budget, would we have done things differently? Probably. But we didn't, and I didn't second guess myself. We had the wedding that was right for us, and had some of the Wedding Magic that I really thought only happened in the movies. I might have thought, before planning a wedding, that I wanted a fancy and elegant wedding, but when we planned our wedding I found just the quirky, fun, and occasionally elegant wedding that I did want. And I'm glad I didn't listen to much to the WIC and gave up things I didn't actually care about, like real plates and silverware and steak.

So, it turns out that I can enjoy a fancy, elegant wedding without being jealous (in fact, I secretly believe our wedding was better, but am also totally relieved that it is over and done with and we can get on with being married).


*Wedding Industrial Complex (coined by A Practical Wedding, and it perfectly describes how the Wedding Industry tells you it is about Having All the Things)

**The programs were kind of useless, because the minister completely ignored the order of service and jumped all over the place and skipped some things. These things happen.

**I ended up taking the one from our table home, where, lacking vases, I cut off all the stems and put the flowers in a six quart pot and a two quart pot, where they made our apartment smell deliciously of roses. Yes, that many flowers for one table, and there were fourteen tables.

****If you must have favors, chocolate is totally the way to go. They gave us *truffles* (I might have snuck a few extra).